Mothers and Tools

Thinking about Mother's Day this coming weekend and pondering on life and such, I recall a recent conversation with a lady who has 2 grown children and 2 nearly grown grandchildren.  She said, "I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time".  Isn't that all any of us can ever do?  The best we know how?  We don't know what we don't know.
Here's the deal, there are no blueprints, manuals, youtube videos on how to raise a decent human.  Each parent does it differently than the next but a lot like their parents did it and their parents and so on.  If you were raised in an abusive home, you learn that is normal and most of the time, not all, continue that environment in your own home as your parent's did their's.  If you were raised Southern Baptist, I bet your grandparents were too.  If your mother chose cloth diapers, you may have used them on your child as well.  If your father drank to excess in front of you, you did not see any reason  not to do the same in front of your children or grandchildren.  Some do break the cycle, some create new ones.  Each parent goes on what they know, what they can learn from others in their tribe and surroundings.  They are using the tools they have to do the best they can.
FORGIVE THEM.  See that they really did do the best they could with the tools they had.  Forgive them, they did not intentionally set out to have a child and screw it up royally.  Forgive them, they did not want to see you falter or fail.  Forgive them and quit blaming them for your lot in life.
FORGIVE YOURSELF.  You are doing the best you can with the tools you have.  If you aren't, then start.  Forgive yourself for blaming them for your problems.  Forgive yourself for not loving them the way you think you should but don't.  Forgive yourself and do better by yourself and your family.
Acquire new tools for your toolbox.  Make room in the toolbox by getting rid of the tools that do not work for you and your family.  Do this for yourself and don't expect your mom and pop to change.  You do you.
Don't let another Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparent's Day or any other day pass you by without forgiveness, kindness and love.  We are all doing the best with can with the tools we have at the time.
Peace, Love and Mothers <3 p="">