I am not going to lie, I wanted a DRINK!
Yesterday I had some obstacles and challenges and the day/evening did not go as planned or very well at that.  By 9:30pm all I wanted was to go somewhere and chill and have a cocktail.  Really BAD.  One wouldn't hurt, right?  It's not like I quit on purpose, what's the big deal?  All this going on in my head while I am packing up my trivia stuff and loading the car.
No, I did not wake up one day and say, "hey I think I will quit drinking" and then just quit.  I was eventually going to do it for dietary reasons anyway but one day I could not drink because I was a hired driver and then after that, I just didn't want it anymore.  I can not remember a time I didn't want to drink. Most evenings I had a cocktail with dinner or a beer because is was cold and there and my social life revolved around drinking and dining.  I really haven't wanted or been tempted to drink.
Alcohol was my stress relief, normally if I had a stressful day I would have a cocktail.  I would go somewhere and have someone wait on me, bring me good food and adult beverages, that was my go-to get-away.  Alcohol is how we celebrate, we celebrated a lot.  It was normal to find me at a bar after a trivia gig, winding down with conversation, cocktails and an appetizer.  Grilling out, yes, we need a beer to be able to light the grill. 
Anyway, I did not have that DRINK.  I talked myself out of it. 
I did however indulge in junk food, which I wish I would have talked myself out of as well.  BUT I will not beat myself up over it.  It is the first real JUNK I have had since the 2nd week in January and I hope it will be a while before I have any more.
When I got home I reached out to a friend just to chat.  Chat about nothing, chat about everything but just to chat.  I realized had I done that about 30 minutes earlier I probably wouldn't have had all the internal dialogue or the junk food.  Talking to a friend helped.  Cheered me up, made me realize life is good over all and I am making good decisions.  You know, Bill might have been on to something.  Friends of Bill will get that reference. 
I am sharing this because I want to acknowledge that sometimes it's hard and I beat it this time.  I want to share this in case someone else is struggling with something and feels alone, you are not. I am sharing this because one day I may need to come back and read this.  I am sharing this because life happens and you are in charge of you.
If you need a friend...